Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Crazy school life!

School life is extremely busy but we are surviving. The kids miss Adam a lot because he is gone student teaching all day and has night classes for his credential 3 times a week. The kids LOVE preschool! All of their teachers are amazing and we haven't had a single problem! Their school is so awesome! The kids are learning to label emotions, gaining new friends, can count to 20, and are a TON more independent. The kids helped me study for map test of Africa- which the test suuuucked. On all our map tests we have to memorize all of the countries AND capitals of a given continent and then he just has us name 10 from each at his random choosing. The problem with Africa is that the capitals all sounded alike to me!
So we are still alive. The blog is suffering but most important, keeping up the house is suffering. Why is it so hard to keep a house clean when you aren't home often?! I need a maid...

Cupcake time!

I had to give a demonstration speech in my public speaking class. The first thing that popped into my head that wasn't about being a mom were these super awesome creative cupcakes.
I went crazy finding new kinds of cupcakes on Pinterest. It was a great outlet to make these! My class LOVED them! I wanted to speak earlier than last position so I bribed someone with their first choice of a cupcake... And then I wanted someone to move the table for me because I was wearing my heels. It.was.awesome.
Uhh Did I tell you we took the kids to the zoo this summer? I really don't remember and I don't see a post about it....
The kids and Adam on the carousel
Kiersten and Daddy looking at the giraffes.
Watching the tortoise move sloooowwwwwlllyyy. Well.... That was a quick update of the zoo...

Saturday, September 8, 2012

Third Birthday!

Bradley and Kiersten turned three years old last month! It was the first week of school so we knew it was going to be super busy. Adam had about an hour from when he got home from student teaching to when he had to start his night class. We had a party in Modesto with my sisters and nephews (pictures to come when I get them from my sister) We got the kids their favorite dinner- Papa Murphies, then we picked up a cupcake each from B&N (free cupcake for kids for their birthday). We took them home, sang to them, opened gifts, and then Adam was out the door. Bradley got a tool kit set. As you can tell, he was SO EXCITED!!
Kiersten got Bambi, which by the way, is a super scary movie!!
Singing to the kids. They wanted to have a Dora and Diego cupcake. About a month ago while visiting Modesto, we found cupcakes in the bakery with little plastic heads of Dora, Boots, and Diego. Lucky for us, they forgot about them so they were so excited to see them!

Off to school.....

The kids are going to preschool this year! They are so grown up! The first two pictures are from orientation. They were so excited to go. On our list of things to bring with us had swim suits. Kiersten was so excited of the thought of going swimming with 20+ new friends.
Kiersten looks so grown up!
Bradley wasn't as excited but he still was ready for the adventure.
On our first actual day of school.
Awwww, I'm going to have to frame this. Walking hand in hand on their first day of school.

Shaved ice!

We have been driving by this really cute penny candy store for years now saying every time, oh we should stop there soon... Since this is Adam's last year at Chico State, we will go wherever the wind blows next summer. We are trying to check off items from our Chico bucket list- like that penny candy shop. Well we finally made our stop and we thought it was worth two spoons up!
DELISH shaved ice! And for only a $1! We wanted to stop on the way home too but we had just been to sonics for Slushes. But we will definitely stop there again! (and again...)

Saturday, July 21, 2012

Another hard post....

This is another very hard blog post.... Adam and I found out we were pregnant again at the beginning of June. I was very scared and unsure because it had only been a month from my D&C. I talked to my nurse about the possibility of it being old hormones that had not fully gone away yet. She said it was very unlikely it was left over hormones and that yes I was pregnant again. We really didn't tell too many people again just in case. I went to my ultrasound and just like both of my other pregnancies, I wasn't as far along as I thought I was because the baby was too small for a heartbeat. I did two HCG tests and a follow up ultrasound in a week and a half. I got my first HCG results and it came back as 17,000. I was stoked! I was so happy! My miscarriage ended at 1,800- Muuuuch better! I had only had a handful of migraines, no cramping, no bleeding- nothing. I finally told my parents after I got those results. I had to wait the whole weekend for my next HCG results. Monday comes so I call in. It only went from a 17K to 22K. Bad news- I was suppose to be in the 30's. I was crushed and confused- wasn't everything going great?? At my ultrasound there wasn't a baby. I had a an-embroyotic miscarriage where the baby dies early and gets reabsorbed but the sac still grows strong and emits tons of hormones. The sac was growing in accordance to me being 9 weeks but there wasn't a "yolk" there. My doctor said I could wait it out but it could take up to six weeks and then a D&C would be mandatory. I was having NO physical signs so I had no clue how long it would take. I wanted the D&C because I hate the waiting game. I did not have the mental strength to go through the hell I went through last time. My appointment was on Thursday and my D&C was scheduled for Tuesday. By Sunday night I was I so scared. I still had no physical proof that I had lost the baby. I still felt sick because the sac was still growing and increasing hormones. We had a friend come over and gave us both blessings and the blessing was amazing in two ways- It confirmed that I had chosen the right decision and that I required the D&C. The second thing was- hormones and dwelling on negative things create very bad results! I was becoming terrified that we weren't suppose to have anymore kids. My blessing let me know that we needed to wait but we would be blessed with more kids in the future. I tried to be as strong as possible when I went in for my procedure Tuesday at the butt crack of dawn. I talked with my nurse when I was checked in and told her all the problems of my last procedure with everyone being so insensitive. I wanted to be far from the door. No talks of babies by the nurses. Rocking chair far from me in the recovery room. I brought a book to distract me and I just did my best to see the good in things. This experience was much better. Adam didn't have finals and recitals he had to perform in so he was able to stay with me. Afterwards I went home and slept all day long. I took my pain meds this time but it was so much harder recovery! I couldn't use the restroom all day Tuesday and Wednesday was improved but not good. By Thursday night I was in serious pain and Kiersten had ran and jumped on my belly and sent me into crying pain. I took two vicodin but it didn't even touch the pain I was in. Adam took me to the ER where they catheterized me. That was the WORST pain in my life! I thought the nurse and I were pretty good buddies until then. I told her she wasn't allowed near me again after that haha. They ran several tests, cultures, ultrasounds, but things came back ok. After I was catheterized I could finally pee again so it relieved a LOT of the pain I was in. My kidneys were screaming in pain! So I came home and was told to rest and keep up my meds and make sure I go to my Dr next week. Also at the ER I found out that I had to do blood tests to follow my hormones down to zero with this kind of miscarriage. I didn't know that. I was down to 4K by now but I still have a little bit to go. I still haven't really processed this baby all the way. We gave the last baby a name and gender to grieve and accept it. This week and been so hectic and busy its hard to relax from everything and finalize things. All I know is that I KNOW that both my little babies are waiting for me in heaven. I talked to my Dad this week and he told me that my little babies were so righteous in the preexistence that they didn't need to come down to Earth to be tested. They had already earned their spots in the celestial kingdom. I like looking at it from that prospective and it gave me some comfort and peace. Well, I don't really know how to end this post. I keep this blog as my journal and I was dying to let something out of me and to write it down. I am sorry if my posts are graphic or TMI on bodily functions. Anyways. I have a testimony in my Savior. I know he is with me and guides me in life. I am so grateful for the gospel and an eternal perspective on things. I am SO grateful for blessings and probably get more than my fair share of them.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

Lemons.

When life gives you GIGANTIC lemons...
You shove it into the tail pipe of Grandpa's One Ton truck. SO GLAD we found that! At least it wasn't his brand new diesel! I went into the warehouse to find a flat head screw driver to stab the lemon and pull it out because I couldn't reach far enough in to get it out. It was pretty deep in there. While Lynn (Grandpa) and I went to go find a tool Bradley took care of it himself and got it out. He reminded me of Mary Poppins when she blacked her nose out for the Chimney sweep portion.
It took a lot of scrubbing to get the soot off!

A Very Pinteresting Day!

I decided to do some kid activities that I read on Pinterest. The first one was playign with baking soda and vinegar.
They had a ton of fun! I put some baking soda in a glass pan and then gave them paper cups with dyed vinegar. Tip for next time- don't use paper cups. The bottoms get too weak. We also did paper towel roll bowling. The kids have always loved to play with bowling kits but we don't have one. I read my friend's status a while back that she needed toilet paper rolls for her primary class. I teach 4 year olds in primary so I decided I should start saving my rolls just in case I needed them. So today I saw the rolls hanging in a bag in the closet and decided to set them up like pins and give the kids bouncy balls. They loved it- especially Kiersten! And we worked on their awesome counting skills and we put the pins up each time.

My bucket list- first draft!

So I decided to finally post my bucket list. Its only 40 items long now lol. I have completed a few so I took them off. Go on an Alaskan cruise Learn sign language Travel to Australia Be a home owner See the Aurora Borealis Snorkel Visit every state Go fishing and catch a fish Adopt a pet Be a foster parent Own a painting Get a fully pampered spa day swim with dolphins Visit every temple in US (completed all in CA,NV, and DC) Do a temple with a General Authority Earn my Bachelors raise a pig Complete a triathlon Go to girls camp as a leader Eat a meal mostly from my garden Make a stained glass window Take a cooking class write a basics cook book Attend a live filming of a show Hike Half Dome Go on an RV vacation Take the kids to Monterrey Bay Aquarium Learn to play the piano fluidly Go to Disneyworld Stay in a Disney resort Shake the prophets hand hike in and camp Make cement handprints with my kids Save a life bottle feed a wild animal/ volunteer at a wildlife reserve Go river rafting Donate my hair to Locks of Love Participate in Relay for Life Milk a cow Gallop on a horse

Saturday, June 16, 2012

Temple Hopping!

I went temple hopping with my friends Tara and Andrea. I had such an amazing time! This was our first stop for gas on our trip. We drove to Las Vegas on Monday and did a session Tuesday morning. This was in the top three of my favorite temples and was very special to me because my grandmother who I was very close to lived in Vegas for a very long time. Las Vegas We drove straight from there to the San Diego temple. I honestly have never liked the design of the building before. In person- Oh my goodness! It was the most amazing temple! It was so amazingly beautiful. We got a little tour after our session of the temple. They showed us the atrium, the brides room, and let us walk around for a while. We stayed the night in New Port Beach with a session there in the morning. This temple was too...orange... and muave... and pink... But the terrestial room was so beautiful! Andrea has this thing where she takes pictures of her jumping in front of every temple. She tried to teach me how to do it. It didn't go so well in Redlands as you can see a little later. That afternoon we went to the Los Angeles temple. It was HUGE! Much bigger than I thought it was! Your driving down the street and see a starbucks, chase bank, and BAM! A huge hill in the middle of town! I Read a book so I wouldn't drive Andrea crazy since it was her first time meeting me. I do like to talk a little too much haha. I finished the first two books in less than a week but I didn't like the third book at all! Our last stop on our roadtrip was to the Redlands temple. It is the smallest temple! I think they only have 6 sessions a day there with a 5 hour break in the middle of the day. Andrea tried to teach us her mad jumping skills but Tara and I just didn't get it haha. We had such an amazing time but I was so excited to get back home to my babies!! I was gone from home for 2 weeks and from my Minions for a week. I had only been gone for weekend before. I sure missed them!!

The kids first trip to the beach.

To break up our three days in the park we took the kids to Newport beach in between the 2nd and 3rd day. It was overcast so I expected it to be chilly. Once you got in the water it wasn't bad at all. Kiersten had a lot of fun at first until a wave hit her really high and she got water in her mouth. After that she went and built a sandcastle with Adam for a long time. When she goes on and on about her Disneyland rants its really funny to ask her about the beach. She says "Ooh the beach was soooo cooooold (she will even fake shiver here). I went in the water and rolled around. It tasted Icky! Then I chased birdies and said GO AWAY BIRDIES!" Bradley had a ton on fun in the water- which really surprised me! He doesn't like to swim at all but he kept dragging me further and further out into the water. He tripped a few times and tumbled with the waves but he jumped right back up and tried to go further out. This picture was perfectly timed! I love Bradley's face!

Date Night at Midieval times

In the midst of all the chaos, Adam and I had our friends who we were staying with in the area watch the kids on Wednesday so we could get a date night. We went back to the park and rode Star Tours- which has totally changed since we had been there last. Then we went to Medieval times where we had such a great time!! They really switched up the story line since the last time I was there. Afterwards we had time to go back to the park on our way back to our "home" for the week. I FINALLY rode the Space Mountain ride, which we almost couldn't do because it broke down for the second time that day.

Disneyland!

The next day after graduation we took off for Disneyland to celebrate Adam's graduation. It was perfect timing because the kids are still 2- which means they are free. It was the week before memorial day so most schools were still in session, and it wasn't too hot yet. Just before the tram on the first day- we were all very excited! Pinocchio was just as we entered into the park. The kids had no clue what to do with a huge cartoon character. I LOVE this picture of Bradley! His face is priceless! Kiersten was in LOVE with Princess Aurora at Goofy's Kitchen. She kept running up to her and giving her hugs. It was well worth it! Kiersten and Bradley tell us everyday that the Pirates ride was soo scary but then it got silly. Then they tell us about every ride. The rockets were soo fast! The dinosaurs on the choo choo ride were soo scary. I Love Minnie, and Mickey, and Goofy, etc! They have seriously asked everyday since we have been home to go back there. Kiersten even put her shoes on and announced she was leaving to go back to Disneyland today when Adam was leaving.

Adam Graduated!!!

On May 20th Adam graduated from Chico State with a Bachelors in Music Education to be a band teacher. Here is Adam with all the students who graduated in their program and their Band Director From left to right with first names only there's Mary, Geoff, Ruben, Rose, Dr. Tevis, and Adam. Good timing too since they suspended the program for next year (which will kill it entirely, but don't get us started). Adam's Dad Ken and Stepmom Trina came into town from Utah- which was awesome since they hadn't seen our minions in over two years. It was a very bright and hot day with very little shade, Smiles were hard to come by after the ceremony. This picture sums it up wonderfully haha (Siiiiide story- do this a lot... So I had a conversation with a friend about the difference of sidekicks and minions. A Sidekick is a companion to a superhero and has their own agency to choose right. Pretty Cool. Minion is the companion if an evil person and they do their masters every will... My kids don't listen very well and I would like them to obey my will. And besides- doesn't Mitchell Minions sound catchier?! And end side note!)

100th Post!

Welcome to my 100th blog post! yay! Ok so there's not really any context to this post. But I'm about to post a TON of things! So much has happened in the last month- Adam graduated, We went to Disneyland, kids first time at the beach, I went on a girls trip to go temple hopping. So seriously blessed! Happy Blogging!

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Kiersty's Garden

Here is our two week update of our garden. Kiersty LOVES her garden and asks to go out there almost every minute of they day. Her problem is though that she knows how to turn the hose on and refuses to leave it alone. I can try to block her way to it, cover it, distract her. Nada. Here is my pretty little girl with her flower. I took this a day or two ago and it has already doubled from here.

Friday, May 4, 2012

Spare the Air Day

Adam rides the bus every day to school and back because its free for Chico State students. The kids have been asking to ride the Daddy Bus everyday when he leaves to go to school. Yesterday Adam text me that bus rides were free all day for spare the air day. Hmm I bet the kids would love to ride the bus today. Waiting for the bus...
Someone left the window open on the bus and the kids were in hog heaven! No car seats AND I can stick my face out the open window to feel the breeze?? Note: they couldn't fit their whole head out the window!
After we got downtown we went to eat at the Bear with Daddy. He taught them how to play the shoot'em up game.
After this we walked around downtown for a bit at the Farmer's Market and then caught the bus home. They were EXHAUSTED when we got home, which was good because the new Big Bang was coming on in 30 minutes. Haha. Its the only show we care about now a days. I LOVE Amy- she's Hilarious!

Bradley's update

Oh that little boy is a cut and copy of Adam- its ridiculous!! He doesn't like to eat much, but when he does- holy cow! He ate three peices of French Toast the other night. I ate two...
He Loves to build legos. He usually builds by color. This day he was just focused on making the tower taller than himself.
This kid cracks me up!

Kiersten's funny sayings

This little kid is one silly girl! She is constantly talking and into everything. Apple doesn't fall far from the tree I guess. Yesterday Kiersten and I were walking and I was pushing the double stroller. She wanted to push the stroller herself so she tells me: "Mommy go away! My turn" "That's not nice, use your manners" "Mommy go away, please?" She is always asking for "my turns" Today we were driving and listening to the annoying children's song CD. Twinkle Twinkle Little Star comes on and I start singing it with her. She said - "No Mommy, its my turn!" During the bridge she says- Ok Mommy's turn! As soon as the words come back she demanded I stop singing so she could sing the next verse. Silly kid.

This year's garden

Last year's garden was a FAIL. The dirt patch in our backyard was filled with junk for the first two layers (which I did my best to clean) and then clay after that. Doesn't help when you have rude neighbors that poor their sodas from their balcony into my garden. I mean seriously?! You can't see my plants and cute little signs? OOh well, on a better note! This year I decided to plant buckets and pots and not put anything in the ground.
Here is our first phase of the garden. I have things in tiny cups till they sprout. Left to right we cilantro in clay pots, watermelon in the brown disposables, zucchinis in the dixie cups, and then a sunflower in the small green one. Oh, and of course an awesome tomato plant on the ground in a pot. I didn't really want to plant watermelon but it was a really cute kit of Larry the cucumber and the tomato dude. Kiersten used up all the stickers on the way home though. Silly kid! I'm thinking we'll sprout it and then give it away when it gets too big.

Monday, April 30, 2012

My Difficult weekend

I had my D&C on Friday. It wasn't difficult physically, but mentally it was the hardest thing I had to do. I went to the ambulatory services, which in the hospital I went to, is just around the corner from the maternity ward. I was the very first bed to the door and could see the hall way. And really, why do the nurses have to ask such STUPID questions?!? For example- is there any chance that your pregnant right now? Uhh. That's why I am here... So just before I wheeled to the OR a new mom walked past with her tiny baby and all her flowers and balloons. Oh I just lost it and just cried and cried. While waiting in the per-operating room- which because they were busy I was hanging with the copier machine and water cooler... This nurse walks up and says "You look like your sad- I feel like I should cheer you up". Then she told me the WORST story you could ever tell someone in my situation at the time. Apparently when she was pregnant with her last, she miscarried and was going to have a d&C. Well I guess last minute while they were wheeling her in the OR they noticed hers labs were doing better and they did an ultrasound and saw the baby was still alive and doing well so they canceled the D&C- last minute. REALLY?! Why would you say that to someone who is going in to the OR any second and is already crying? I know she was trying to be nice, but good heavens, Share a different story. In the recovery room the ONLY rocking chair in the huge room was right next to my bed. I know I was WAY sensitive but anything was making me cry. Then the guy next to me just kept complaining over and over. The nurses at the station were chatting about a brand new baby boy that was born. They were swooning over his picture and just kept going on and on. I started crying...again... and my nurse comes over and asked what was wrong. I asked her to tell the nurses to change the topic and my nurse YELLED across the room- Hey zip it! The nurses apologized and it sure shut the guy up next me! Oh anyway! I didn't have much pain till Saturday. I felt like things flip flopped. I got my last good cry in and am coming around to acceptance and am doing better with the loss. Pain wise though- Oh man! I was HURTING Saturday! I tried to stay in bed all day or lay down while Donna took the kids to the Children's Fair. I HATE vicodin. Well, it doesn't really work for me and I don't want it because of the addictive capability of it. My dr told me to stop being stubborn and to take two of my medicine to help me heal. I slept WELL Saturday night! Well, heh, actually, I didn't really wake up till 3pm on Sunday. Today is Monday. Donna is home, Adam is at school till 5:30pm, and I am by myself. I went to the gym today and went to spin class for 30 min. Mostly...I just put the kids in day care haha. I went super easy on the spin bike and then took a nap on the chairs out back for a little bit. Both the mental and physical pain is getting better. Do you know how many ensign articles mention miscarriages?? A LOT. There was even a How To survive one- for the mother, Father, and a friend. I thought it was really cool. Soo...That's how I am doing...

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Sad Day.

Well my dr's appointment didn't go well and we lost the baby. According to my first appointment I didn't measure as far along as I thought so they bumped me back from 7 weeks to 5 weeks. Which would have meant I knew I was pregnant at 2 weeks- which is way too early for an at home test. So I believe I was 9 weeks today instead of their adjusted 7 weeks. This is so much harder than I thought it was going to be. I feel like I have lost the baby twice. First when I started bleeding and now again today. The two weeks of limbo and gaining hope back has made it worse. Its just so hard and I want to be by myself and drown myself in ice cream. I know its not healthy but that's how I want to cope right now. Adam has his Tuba recital tomorrow evening and his parents were planning on coming up for the day. I called his mom and asked her to come up a day early to help watch the kids while I grieve.

Monday, April 23, 2012

Heart ache and finding peace

This blog might be long...depending on how well the kids nap. I am not sure who all reads this but I am going to post my whole soul out there and talk about my current trials. Maybe it would help some- I don't know.

Gosh where to start!

It has been an extremely hard week... I had a lot of time to think this weekend and I wanted to post a blog about what has happened. I have probably felt every emotion there is. Extreme sorrow, angry, longing, peace, happiness- I've been everywhere...

On March 26th Adam and I found out we were pregnant. We were a little cautious in telling too many people and still haven't posted about it on facebook. Adam was excited as could be but I was extremely nervous and anxious about the possibility of twins again (1 in 5 chance). I took my first blood hcg test the next morning. It came back as 26 which just states- yep your pregnant! I thought it might be really high so a sure sign or not of twins. Nope have to re-do in several days to see how fast it climbs- Ok..

So Easter weekend comes and Adam's parents came to town to celebrate with us. We told his parents who were ecstatic. My Mother in Law and I even went to the maternity store to do some early shopping and I picked up a super cute dress.

Sunday night I started feeling really exhausted and starting cramping a lot and spotting bright blood. I was really worried and called the dr the next morning to find out what to do. They sent me in for another HCG. The results came back as 800. Not as high as it should be. I had my ultrasound in two days for the Wednesday so they said to take the blood test again that morning so it would be ready for afternoon appointment.
So Wednesday comes and I do my test first thing. When I get to my appointment my numbers went from 800-1400. Almost doubled so good number! While doing my ultrasound I measured at only 5 weeks although we had already known for three weeks now and I thought I was 7 wks along. Ok well, the blood work was good and no more cramping and spotting.

The next day which was a Thursday, I started an episode of intense migraines. Adam's class was canceled for the afternoon so he came home so I could go lay down in the back. They came in waves and sometimes I would feel fine. Other times I just wanted to die because the pain was so intense. My migraines are in my right jaw, ear, neck, shoulder. At the peak of my migraine I can't even lift my right arm. This lasted all through the week and and my last one was Friday/ saturday night- two days ago.


A week ago Monday the 16th I got up like normal and said goodbye to Adam so he could go to school. About half hour after he left I got an intense sharp pain in my lower abs and left side. I went to the bathroom and was bleeding extremely heavily. I went in for ANOTHER HCG test... waited and waited and waited for results. Blood kept getting heavier and clots started now- BAD sign!
I called my dr around 4 times that afternoon waiting for answers. Nothing!
That night I had a very close friend come over to give me a blessing. It was beautiful with comfort and everything had a reason.
I was still crying non- stop thinking I had lost the baby.
The next morning I FINALLY get a call from my dr with results. My blood work went from a 1400 to a 1800- in five days...It should have been in 5,000+ at this point! But the numbers went up. It didn't stay the same or go down.It gave me hope- very little- but still hope.
I went in for an ultra sound the next day to see if I needed a D&C to clear everything out or if everything was already cleared. The Dr had guessed that the stress of the migraines had caused me to lose the baby.
So he did the ultrasound and the sac was still there- and it even measured a tiny bit larger. Not enough progress for a week but it still went from 5cm to 6cm. It was still too small to see a heart beat.
The dr said I am in limbo. There's nothing we can do to stop the baby from miscarrying and nothing we can to do help it grow and get out of the funk. All we could do was wait and time would tell. I don't like trials of patience. I hate them. I was so mad at God when I left that appointment. Just give an answer! How do I grieve or rejoice with this news?!

This last weekend I had a twin mom's convention in Santa Clara. I had already paid for it and had the hotel booked so I decided to go anyways. I was exhausted and could use a good break from daily life. The first night was AWFUL. I had a migraine that lasted the entire night and tossed and turned and tried to everything to make it stop but I had no meds to help because they were home in Chico 3 1/2 hours away.
The next day a lady from my club and her two friends were ditching the workshops to go to the beach. Sounded good- lets go! I sat on the beach and meditated and felt the mist on my face, The beauty of the waved hitting the rocks, the roar of the tide. It was beautiful. It was the exact medicine I needed.
I picked up the ugliest rock I could find- which on the beach was the actually hard. I poured all my emotions, heart ache, and anger into that uneven, chipped, multi colored rock. I stared at it for about a minute and I told it everything in my heart. Then I threw it as I hard as I could into the ocean with every bit of energy I had.
It felt so liberating! I felt at peace as I sat back down and closed my eyes to soak the sun up and feel the mist.

So here is where I stand.
Yes this crap is hard and I have no clue what's going to happen.
Stressing and crying just scares Bradley and Kiersten and makes things worse.
With the amount of blood I was loosing I should have lost the baby. I was turning the toilet bowl red several times a day- tmi I know, sorry.
It sac should not have showed up on the screen of the ultrasound.
My appointment is in two days and we'll find out how much our little bean has grown.
My attitude is that I am pregnant until proven otherwise. That is the rally cry of IVF that some twin mom friends taught me.
The sac grew and my levels went up- I am still pregnant for this moment.

This was a long but I wanted to pour my heart out. Thanks for reading. I'll post another one Wednesday or after depending on results. We are praying for good news and growth!

Tuesday, April 3, 2012

Bradley's surgery.

It went great! He was definitely a trooper!
Well, After the surgery he was haha.
He did NOT like the nurses before his surgery! He kept yelling at them to go away or "Nooo" anytime they came near him. This is because when he was in the hospital in December they had to draw his blood every 6 hours and they NEVER got it on the first try.

However, AFTER he woke up from surgery they were his best friends. Why? They were the bearers of the almighty otter pops- and he was one hungry boy!!

All this fuss for that TINY bandaid. I felt ridiculous after seeing that! I was warned for a huge head wrap, possibly having one eye covered. But hey- better to be over prepared than to only expect a bandaid and see a huge head wrap. He has about 6 stitches under the steri-strip that are disolvabe. Two weeks later you can barely see them now.



He took a really long time to wake up. I leaned close and whispered "Hey Brad, are you hungry? Do you want an otter pop?" He seriously sat straight up and signed please over and over.



Leaving on Daddy's shoulders.